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[01 Jan 2007|08:14pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | damien rice ] He has a girlfriend. He really does. And this time its not me. I dont know what to think... im REALLY happy for him, but im such a mess at the same time. I cant help but think about Everything they'll do, that we did. I am happy for him. hge desereves it. IM such an idiot. I will be alone. He truley and completely over me. nothing.

Another smack in the face [27 Dec 2006|06:23pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | The spill canvas ] Tim was supposed to come over to day. He never showed up. No call, no messages, no nothing. We planned to hang o ut on this day for a few weeks now. Ive been waiting for him since 10:00 in the morning, which was supposed to be his arrival time. I dont know what to think, or what to do. I feel like an Idiot! nothing.

Uh, COllege on Sunday! [08 Dec 2006|08:28pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | MOdEst MoUsE! ] Yep, I guess im leaving for college alot earlier than expected! I'm leaving on sunday! Ahhh. im so excited.... I'm so bored. I've been sleeping at my sisters apartment, but it gets old after awhile. now im back at my house just being bored. My mom got a christmas tree! i knew she would, since t'was the first snow fall today. I've realized i have no friends... seriously, i have uh.... Tim? but he's in maine. well then i guess it dosnt matter seeing as im going to maine in 3 days. I hope i make friends. I hope people dont think im weird or whatnot. I've decided im so bringing my spiderman blanket! mhmm, it's my favorite so i have to have it, that and my pink stuffed bunny, name Mr. Jelly Bean! My dad got it for me when i was 3 so thats a must as well. I really REALLY wanna see HARVEY FUCKING DANGER in concert!!!!!!!!!!!! really bad. Them or Modest Mouse! I also wanna get another Tattoo. but i doubt that will happen. Im totally broke. I'm always broke. whatev. BLAHHHHHHHHH. nothing.

Its Been a LOooong Time! [04 Dec 2006|02:45pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Explosions in the sky! ] Yeah, Im pretty sure its been like 8 yrs since ive updated this journal, haha, I actually forgot about it! anyways, nothing special has been really going on lately.. Getting ready for COLLEGE!! woo. University of Maine. Im leaving in January. I'm realy excited to go but, im also very scared, i feel like im gunna get there and people are gunna look at me and just walk away, im affraid that im gunna have douchebags for my roommates. blah blah blah. But whatever, i'll just out rock all of them. Other than that, not much has changed... Im not friends with Shanoah anymore. Alot of things helped my desicion but, in a short story, She's a Big big lier! blah blah blah. I dont see much of anone anymore, there all already in college, but hey! im not far behind. I've actually been talking to tim lately.I miss him.I feel horrible about all the shit i put him through, he didnt deserve me. But were doing good though! he slept over last friday.. we listend to Damien Rice! i love Damien Rice, he makes me soooo happy. I hate work, i need a better job, but then again, whats the point.. college is just around the corner. Christmas is almost her already!! im soooo happpy, I cant wait for the eggnog! haha. i have to start shopping soo, or actually using my own hands to come up with something.Hmmmmmmm..... Im gunna go grab a bite to eat! nothing.

[29 Jun 2006|02:47pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Sufjan Stevens ] I've been kind of unhappy latley. Graduation was like 3 weeks ago and i've been doing nothing ever since. I quite my job due to there inconsiderate scheduling methods. O yea, i have no friends, at all. I sit in my room all day waiting untill 7:30 when tim gets home, when im actually able to hang out..well depending on his agenda, which by the way has been penciled with "hang out with boys" much more than "girlfriend." I cant help but feel as an inconvenience,and useless. Tims leaving for college for 4 years on september 3rd. when hes gone, then thats it. im officially alone. what am i supposed to do. honestly, i feel in my heart that our relationship wont lasteven though i beg it to. i need some help, some advise. Anything. nothing.

Wooooooooo [19 Apr 2006|09:34am] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Harvey Danger ] Yippie! It's almost vacation!!!!im so fucking excited. im going on this sweet asss cruise to the carribeans! its gunna be great. im leaving on saterday and then getting back the next saterday.... mhmmmm i cant wait, but im gunna miss tim tho! alot. but last night some guy came to the house to tell us all about the cruise and said that our cellular devises will actually work on the ship so you best believe that ill be hitting his digets every two seconds! o man im gunna miss him. ill miss everyone! but hey what ev, im gunna be going on a fucking cruise for a fucking month in the fucking carribeans! great great great! Woooooooooooo. so.. anywho. i havnt updated in a while, ive been wicked busy latley! i hate school and i cant wait to get out of it. Ive decided that im not going to prom. i kno i kno "im so gunna regret it" but whatever. i really dont care, i dont have the money to do all this shit for prom, i dont have a dress or anything. Tims mom wants him to go really bad, so i guess hes just gunna go by himself, which will suck but his mom's the kinda person that would get pissed at him if he didnt want to go. But i love tim tho! i really do. i can him in my future, i can see him being the father of my children, i can even see me wanting to have children with him. and i cant wait. a part of me wants to grow up fast and get married and have children but then another part of me just wants to stay a kid for a while with him maybe travel a bit, i dunno but whatever i choose to do i just cant wait till i do it with him. i love him with all of me. nothing.

Love is just a joke. [21 Mar 2006|06:50pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | The Spill Canvas ] I'm Single..... For good this time. So far it sucks, i miss him so good, but theres nothing i can do anymore,he hates me. he wont even look a me or talk to me. no contact. i kno i ended it but its not like i cheated on him or anything like that. i wanna love him, and i want him to love me. but thats never gunna happen again. 1 what? nothing.

....... [20 Mar 2006|09:02am] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | the virus ] I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time. nothing.

Woooooooooooooo [13 Mar 2006|09:47am] [ mood | giggly ] [ music | Harvey Danger ] wow, i havnt updated this in a while hmmm. Things have been going exilent for me latley. Ecpecially with me and Tim. I ove him soooo much i really do. His mom thinks we spend to much time together..PFF fuck that. she always trying to seperate, i thinks since hes her little baby then shes scared for him, but i wont hurt him. But other than that ive been really happy. Schools going great for me. But i cant wait to get the hell out of here. Ive been Jamming alot with Tim/Dooder. Its great, I play some sweet songs on the bass, And YES i kno how to play now!!! woooo. Its really exciting! I feel wicked cool actually playing along with them. We might do a show sometime. IT'll be grand. My family still sucks. My moms STILL fat. nothings changed there. and i still steal her money. haha. ive just decided to live the rest of this year to the fullest, no more being gay though. Just, Good grades, Love, , Sex, Road trips.... things like that. Erin Paige Perry~ 1 what? nothing.

Fact: If Kids kno there parents are having a good sex life. They'll have a good one as well.? [09 Jan 2006|09:21am] [ mood | content ] [ music | Kansas ] There always a few times in a girl's life where she wonders if this is actually the life that she wants if everything down to friends and School and Relationships, and even sex is perfect, okay maybe not perfect but ,living her life to the fullest. Andfor a matter of fact it isnt easy realizes the stats of her life. In that case it isnt easy for anyone. Theres some people who feel they need more out of life, who feel that the friends they have the things they do just dont satisfy them enough, so in most cases Drugs come in hand. Now adays for most people its not "fun" enough with out them. But soon enough those people will realize, living the real life is more important then always being out of it. You'll get scared and lost, and lonley. There's others who insist on thinking there the most mature of the bunch, who are what some Call, straightedge.(if there is such a person) They like to prance around with there little x's showing everyone there to cool for drugs and drinking which, is indeed mature but at the same time LAME. No one cares. If anything it makes others feel like crap. I have this one friend who thinks she so mature, Like a mother almost. And honestly it bugs the shit out of me , I dont Kno about anyone else but when im around her all she the only feeling i get is that of a pound of crap. Maybe she dosnt realize she does this but , but to alot of people that affect comes as well. You can have fun in life. Live alittle. But non the less theres they alternative kids, there not really sure what they want out of like, take me for example. ive doen my share of drugs and drinking and sex, and believe me, thats all really fun and amazing but, There always those some times where instead of being wild hardcore sex bunnies, you'd rather just lay naked under a set of blankets, instead of getting stoned and waking up in someone elses house, you'd rather just share an actuall true laugh with your friends. Because you kno theres one in there somewhere. you desperetely yurn for the feelings of innocents again. when boys had coodies, and and you had no idea what a condom was. for most your innocents is come. for that few percent, hold on. O yes I cant forget the sweet lonley people. We all kno who they are, the sweet Fat/Skinney kid who hangs out with you and is amazingly nice and truley beautiful, but as much as everyones nice to them, noone seems to notice. They yurn for just one kiss. just that feeling from another. The butterflies and the tingles, the "i love you's" and believe it or not the sex. They're just like every normal human being but for some reason because of there apperence or they way they talk or someting like that, they regretfully, have nothing. But to those people. Hold On. Because no matter how long it takes, There IS someone out there for you. So in conclusion there are many types of people out there. and at every single one of there lifes there is always that point where they question if this is really what they really want, and if its not, there's ALWAYS time to change. Erin Paige Perry nothing.

[24 Dec 2005|07:08pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Fisher ] So.... were done. I'm single again. wooopie. im never gunna love again. 1 what? nothing.

Oi I'm Rippin! [22 Dec 2005|09:24am] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | The Rocket Summer ] Errrr. I realy hate how people cant mind there own buissness! why do people insist on giving there two sense in when it has nothing to do with them? and then mke me feel like a total dumbass, and that im doing somthing wrong because IM NOT. this i smy desicion, its what i wanna do and its just between ME and HIM. noone else. Its not even a big dela in the first place at all. so why are you making it one by pissing me off so much. just let it go. stay out of it. im not selfish, you are.im not making you look like a dumbass, you are. It's whats in my heart, its how i feel, and he realy dosnt mind.at all , he loves me and respects my desicions and i love him as well. so in conclusion........ Just Fuck Off. nothing.

Blahhh [01 Dec 2005|09:28am] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | The Rocket Summer ] I really really hate school with a passion! its sucks and i dont see why we need to go every fucking day of the week! Errrrr... college is gunna suck. I love how i have no friends anymore. i had alot of friends last year but ever snce theres been no me and brendan they have all seemed to dissapear. it make me feel like a total idiot. i hate going to school and seeing all the girls that used to be "my friend" and now they act like my just invisable. I really hate. i would like to be there friends, i would like to hang out and do things like we did last year. Things are really different than last year. It Sucks. I'm always wondereing if i did something wrong? Err and i hate how i never feel pretty. i feel like the ugliest girl in the world constantly. i try and be more girlier thinking maybe that could help but nooooo. i hate it. Tim tells me that im beautifl but for some reason, i dont think he means it. i dont think anyone means it. i dunno maybe i can try harder. maybe if i loose weight and show more skin..... then just maybe. 3 what? nothing.

Its Fucking Love I Tell Yea. [17 Nov 2005|10:24am] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Boys night Out ] "I never thought that you'd find out i did it, I was so scared that you would leave so i hid it, I know we said that we'd always be honest, So now i went out and messed up, our nest It finally seems like we've turned into strangers, Its gotten so bad there's just no more anger, So now it seems like we can't get no further I can't believe i'll be bright for another I'll be the switch she turns on, She'll be mine too, i get off, I'll be the fuse that she blows, And even with the lights out we'll glow So where's the sun it shines no love on your face, under the moon and with the girl that's in your place, and even Edison has no idea, of all the blackouts i've caused you and me I'll be the switch she turns on, She'll be mine too, i get off, I'll be the fuse that she blows, And even with the lights out we'll glow I'll be the switch she turns on, She'll be mine too, i get off, I'll be the fuse that she blows, And even with the lights down real low [we'll glow, we'll glow, we'll glowwwow] I'll be the switch she turns on, She'll be mine too, i get off, I'll be the, I'll be the fuse that she blows, And even with the lights out we'll glow I'll be the switch she turns on, She'll be mine too, i get off, I'll be the fuse that she blows, And even with the lights out we'll glow I'll be the switch she turns on, She'll be mine too, i get off, I'll be the fuse that she blows, And even with the lights out we'll glow [I'll be the, I'll be the fuse] [I'll be the, I'll be the fuse]" I fucking love this song!!! ans i fucking love Tim Walker. sometimes he can be a jack ass but its alright with me cuz hes so fucking amazing. and a great boyfriend. o man im home sick and it sucks so bad! ive been puking my brains out and to top it off im working tonight and i cant call out cuz its only like my 3rd week working there. Err. Theres some kick ass girls at my work who through parties like every weekend and always gets so smashed! im the only new person thats aloud to go. SWEET. School sucks. im giving blood on friday cuz i promised myself i would. people my little sister need it so... why not. im gunna friggin pass out i kno it. ive never given blood ever so, and i hate needles. grand. I have to start filling out my applications for college. yippie. and geeting recomendations from teachers.. College sucks. But its gunna be a kick Ass Summer!!!!! o yes im to be getting a tattoo very soon. which to me is amazing. Tattoo's are hardcore. My moms Fat. Epp. nothing.

Fuck time. For once make it stop! [02 Nov 2005|08:03pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | Brass Bed ] Errrr... Seriouly if only we had more time! Wow Your amazing. shhhhh. Not me. YOU. I think its time for another sleep over!?!? I cant wait till we go to Virgina, A hotel room to our selves. Sleeping really close to you. i love when i can feel your breath on my nose, and your heart on my chest. I love to lick your lips. There soft, and silky. And when you touch my face, i feel a comfort that i feel with no one else. you're my good feeling. I love you. Thank you. Kiss me again. nothing.

[22 Oct 2005|11:00am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | The Mars Volta ] Tonight was the most amazing night of my life. nothing.

Your my good feeling. [12 Oct 2005|10:09pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | the mars volta ] I'm really happy. He makes me really happy I think im in Love. Hes amazing. I couldnt ask for more. 1 what? nothing.

whats missing? [22 Sep 2005|06:44pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | dashboard ] Dearest friends, Sometimes i feel theres a hole inside me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear you could probably hear the ocean, and in the moon tonight theres a circle around it, a sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of being whole, of not going to sleep each night wanting. but still, sometimes when the wind is warm and the crickets sing, i deam of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love. I want to be seen. I dont know... maybe ive had my happiness. i dont want to believe it but , theres no man for me, just that moon. Erin nothing.

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?? [09 Sep 2005|09:33am] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | jacks mannequin ] o man o man i really really hate school.. i get wait to get out of this shit hole! its not that far away. I really miss Tim Walker. he went to Quebec for a week .. and i really miss him. i guess i really like him alot. yesterday he wrote me 50 notes, in school! and let me just tell you they were amazing!. he even drew an elephant on one. but hes comming back n monday but i ont see him till tuesday which indeed is very sad but i'll live. I still feel like theres something missing in my life.. but yet i still dont no what it is. it kinda like im depperesed but then again im just sad, i try not to show it.. .sometimes it works out and sometimes it dosnt. i guess i just dont want to have to worry about anything anymore. i dont want to have to worry about my parent or my sister or anything but i think that in away ill always have to. theres o way of getting around it. i miss somehting but i dont kno what it is. anywho... its almost fall andthat means halloween!!! yippie! i fucking love the fall i cant wait to carve pumpkins and shit like that. it shall be amazing! did i already say that i miss tim walker because i do. ps. ::Dooder:: is comming out with a new cd soon! you betta believe it! buy it or ill slice you. 1 what? nothing.

Im just a fool for you [02 Sep 2005|09:17pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | Head Automatica ] Wow. im so fucking bored. theres nothing to do and it fucking friday night. i kinda realized since school started that i dont really have any friends. noone to hang out it besides the usual.. even them i dont get to hang out with that much.. pff what ev. so far being a senior has been wicked easy! i have alot of free's and easy classes.. they only hard class i had was math but then i git called down to guidence.. and mr tilton asked me if i could drop that class... i guess cuz im the only one in that class that actually dosnt need to be there or whatever and its full and some kid needs it so they asked me. so i have a free now.. haha i guess it works out. i can tell this years gunna be a hoot! i kinda miss my old friends like kendra ,phil, kyle, brendan. i miss hanging out with them and going to shows and shit like that. kyle and phil are in my lunch but thats about it. thats like they only thing i have any friends. all my other classes suck. no friends. for some reason i feel like theres a whole inside me. just this emptiness, but i dont kno why. its like i missing something but i dont kno what. for the most part im happy tho. Tim Walker is amazing!.. let me just tell you, he really does make me happy and he actually wants to be in my life. he dosnt find it a burden to care about me. im not just this "girl" he's dating he actually likes me. which is wierd . but im not gunna complain. he;s on of the most amazing guys i kno. who is amazing at guitar!!! im so jelous of his abilities. hes totally different from brendan.. but i think its good.. i think what i need is someone to actually care. i mean brendan was amazing and i have some of the best memories in my life with him in it but.. im finally starting to get over him. But i miss the punx! nothing.

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